


Constant Presence

by addict_writer



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Friendship, Gap Filler, Gen, M/M, One Shot, Post-Season/Series 01, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 04:10:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14560563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addict_writer/pseuds/addict_writer
Summary: Daphne catches Brian on one of his nights playing vigil at Justin's hospital door. Feelings are revealed.





	Constant Presence

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this after re-watch the end of season 1. Keep tissues close.

 

“Here again?”

Brian jumped startled from his vigil by Justin’s door. “What are you doing here at this late hour?” He demanded, narrowing his eyes at the girl in front of him.

“I couldn’t sleep. I decided to come here since it’s not the first time I broke curfew. At least, this time is with a good cause.” Daphne attempted to make a joke, failing miserably when neither of them smiled.

Brian sighed, stepping away from the small window showing him a restless Justin.

“Still stubborn?” She joined him on the plastic chairs. He scoffed, lowering in his seat. “You know Justin would like to see you, right?”

“And I’d like to turn back time and offer him a ride home, instead of leaving him there.”

“Stop punishing yourself, Brian. Do something productive and show your face here during daylight.”

“It’s better this way,” Brian muttered. Jennifer had made it painfully clear she didn’t want him around her son, besides he doubted Justin wanted to see him. After all, Brian was the reason Justin got hurt. If it wouldn’t have been for Brian showing at the prom and rubbing it in their faces about them being out and proud, nothing would have happened.

After some minutes spent in silence, Brian nudged Daphne with his elbow. “You can’t judge me for being here at night. What about you? You couldn’t sleep, so you came here.”

She tensed, lifting her feet on the edge of the chair and hugging her knees. “I had a nightmare.”

 _That explains it_ , Brian thought to himself. “Care to talk about it?”

“Only if you tell me yours,” she whispered.

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?”

“Don’t try that card on me. I know you can’t sleep, either. When’s the last time you actually slept? You look dead tired.”

If it had been anyone else questioning him, he’d have bitten their head. But it was Daphne. She was hurting probably as much as him. She deserved an honest answer.

“Since the bashing.”

“WHAT? But that was weeks ago!”

“I can’t sleep. If I close my eyes, I see that low life with his bat.”

“God, it must have been awful to see it happening.”

“I was too far away,” Brian said with anguish in his voice. “ _They_ were too far away. I really hate that phrase, but it’s true. It all happened so fast.”

“You saved him, though. If you weren’t there to call the ambulance…” Daphne put a hand on his shoulder. “Look, I know nothing I’m going to say can change anything, but I hope it will mean something to you. You saved him, Brian.”

He cringed as if he was experiencing physical pain. Justin was alive, true, but at what cost? He had permanent injury, brain damage, and it was Brian’s fault for caving to Justin’s begging. If he hadn’t mellowed at the twat’s pleas for joining him to prom, Justin would still be all right. He’d be mad at Brian most definitely, but when wasn’t he mad at him.

“I’d like to say I know you pretty well,” Daphne whispered after many minutes spent in silence.

“But you don’t.”

“Actually, I do. It’s crazy how people can’t see it.”

“See what?” Brian frowned, getting up and heading to the door to gaze out the small window at Justin’s marred sleep.

“You love Justin.”

Brian whirled around, opening his mouth to retort, but quickly clamped it shut. “It’s late. I’ll drive you home.” With one last look at Justin thrashing on the hospital bed, Brian extended his hand to pull Daphne up.

“I don’t like talking feelings, either. And I’m a girl, so I get it.”

“Daphne, drop it.” He led her out the hospital by the hand. “If you want to talk feelings, I’ll let you know what I’m feeling.”

“What’s that,” she urged him as they stepped outside in the hot summer air.

“Anguish. Guilt. Self-hate. Pain.” His voice broke.

Brian stopped walking, searching for his smokes and lighting one up. He inhaled greedily a few times, before exhaling toward the sky. He offered the cigarette to Daphne, who accepted it. She wasn’t a smoker, but the situation called for a pain-reliever.

“I’m a bad influence,” Brian mumbled, taking his cigarette back.

“Don’t worry about corrupting me.” She took a shuddering breath. “I feel sad and heartbroken.”

Brian glanced at her. “Still pining after him?” He joked, taking another drag of his smoke.

She brushed at her stubborn tears. “It’s heartbreaking seeing you here every night, knowing you are afraid to sleep, seeing you hurting, and unable to make things right.”

“Daphne…”

“Is it so difficult for you to admit it? Even to yourself? You love him, Brian. It’s as clear as the sun rising every morning. Everyone should see it. If they choose not to, it’s their problem, but I do. I see it, Brian.”

He shifted uncomfortably. Speaking of feelings was a subject Brian avoided at all costs, but Daphne was set to keep talking about this until he admitted the ugly truth. A twink had stolen his heart of steel.

Brian tried one last time to evade the conversation. “Come on.” He steered Daphne by the elbow to the car.

Inside the Jeep, Brian turned the AC on full blast, finishing his smoke, before flicking the butt out the window. “Where to?”

“Can we go to yours?”

“Why, Daphne, did you miss the memo about me baiting for the other team?”

She swatted his arm. “As dashing as you are, I’d rather skip.”

He gasped mock-offended. “I’ve never been so insulted in my whole life!”

“You’re such a drama queen.” Daphne rolled her eyes, sagging in the passenger seat.

Brian could see why Justin loved his best friend so much; she was quite the character.

They arrived at the loft fast, considering the roads were empty at that late hour in the night.

“You sure your parents won’t be worried?” He checked.

“They’ll think I went to visit Justin early.”

“In your pajamas?”

“It’s a pair of sweats and a tee,” she defended her clothes. “I had to see he was…there.”

“And you walked?”

“Uh, yeah. The car would have made too much noise. Look, stop scolding me. You were there too, and if you want me to stop pestering you about your feelings, then cut it out.”

“Christ, you’re a fireball.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment. Do you have coffee?”

“I think you should sleep,” Brian said concerned. “The shadows under your eyes are too big and dark.”

“Only if you sleep too,” she said gently, taking his hand and tugging him to the bed.

They fell on the bed, shifting around until they were under the thin cover. They left a good foot between them, but it didn’t last long.

Daphne rolled to face Brian, before closing her eyes. She could feel his presence and warmth, which lulled her closer to sleep. Before she succumbed to dreamland, she sought Brian’s hand, interlacing their fingers. He didn’t pull away, but squeezed her hand tightly like a drowning man searching for air.

She was too tired to confront him, realizing he might be in a weak moment, but she respected his privacy. His actions spoke louder than his words ever would.

Brian was surprised to feel Daphne’s small hand closing around his, but what surprised him more was the comfort it brought to him. He managed to relax enough to fall in a fitful sleep.

It didn’t last too long, though. Mere hours after he’d fallen asleep, Brian shot up by toe-curling screams.

He remembered about Daphne and turned to see her sitting up, hair tangled up, staring at him in horror. Brian dragged the pillow over his face, understating the sounds had come from him. He refused to try remembering his dream. Though, it wasn’t a dream—it was a memory of the cruel reality.

He felt Daphne slipping out of the bed. After a few minutes, she sat by his side, stroking his arm.

“Here. Drink some water.”

Brian was touched by her concern. Slowly, he sat up, leaning against the headboard, accepting the bottle. “Thank you.”

She toyed with the hem of her shirt. “Do you think they’ll ever stop? The nightmares.”

“They won’t.”


End file.
